Excuses used NOT to get involved : you should not get involved in a private family matter or the violence can’t really be that bad, she must be doing something to provoke the violence, I know him and really don’t think he could hurt anyone.
Domestic violence is not a family matter. It is a crime with serious repercussions for your friends, children, and the entire community. It results in more injuries that require medical attention than rape, auto accidents and muggings combined. A victim of abuse is never to blame for another person’s choice to use violence against her.
Finally many abusers are not violent in other relationships and can even be charming in social situations indicating they are not out of control but channel their behavior where they feel they can get away with it. At home, behind closed doors.
What can you do?
- Listen to them, believe them.
- Assure them that it is not their fault.
- Do not pass judgment on them or the person that hurt them.
- Tell them about support services that are available.
- Ask if they are safe right now.
- If they are in immediate danger call 911