New Personal Protection Order iPhone App

ExpertClick News Release: New Personal Protection Order iPhone App Stops em in Their Tracks

IcePics  iPhone app works by pointing an iPhone at a suspicious person and pushing the IcePics button on the iPhone. IcePics will immediately email a picture of the perpetrator along with the GPS location pinpointed on a Google Map to contacts pre-selected by the owner. 

I can see how this could be valuable as an evidentiary tool, but the promoter of this app is making some pretty extreme claims ( see link above for full story):

"What IcePics Can Do

IcePics is a valuable anti-crime tool for anyone who finds themselves anywhere in a potentially threatening situation including:

• Children walking home from school

• Women jogging alone

• Anyone walking to a car in an unlighted parking lot

• Babysitters

• Children playing in a park

• Girl Scouts selling cookies

• Children going trick-or-treating Halloween night

• Elderly persons living alone

• Anyone opening a door to a stranger

• Anyone in a dispute or involved in a tense lawsuit

• College students living in a dorm

• Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse issues, especially those involving a restraining order

• A spouse worried about domestic violence, divorce or custody issues

• Anyone in line at a bank, fast food restaurant or convenience store who sees a crime being committed.

Imagine How The IcePics App Could Change Outcomes

...IF the young woman working in the college lab who was recently attacked had used IcePics her assailant would not have been able to attack her without knowing he'd more than likely be caught.

...IF the child that recently went missing in Florida, only to be found murdered in Georgia would have had IcePics, her attacker could have been stopped.

...IF the young woman that was recently separated from her friends at a Metallica concert had IcePics, she could have sent her attacker's photo to a remote email.

...IF Nicole Brown Simpson saw her assailant walking up her driveway, she would have caused her attacker to think twice as life in prison almost certainly would have been assured with evidence of his or her presence.

...IF the young girl walking home from school, only to be kidnapped and held for 18 years had IcePics, the outcome would have been much different and perhaps have stopped the person from even considering such an act.

Call Their Bluff

By just passing this information on to friends and telling them to hold their phone up and explain the IcePics technology to a threatening person it may make them think twice. Of course, having IcePics would be best, but the mere fact that it is available could save the life of someone you love, so share the concept with everyone, and it may be you that saves a life today — with or without even knowing it. www.icepics.com "




I am curious to know what others think of this. The most glaring problem is that the majority stalking victims I know find iPhone purchase and  plan charges cost prohibitive. It would be great if this could be utilized with any camera enabled cell phone

Gavin de Becker's MOSAIC Threat Assessment Tool Now Available Online

The Oprah Winfrey Show episode featuring Teri Jendusa Nicolai will air Thursday 04/15.

Jendusa Nicolai survived an attack on her life several years ago. In January 2004 her ex-husband beat her, stuffed her in a trash can, and drove her to Illinois, where he left her to die in a freezing storage unit. She was rescued shortly before she would have died, after Racine County Sheriff's Department investigators put together information that led local police to the storage unit where she had been left.

.Also featured will be Gavin de Becker, author of Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence
who has just onveiled the online version of his MOSAIC Threat Assessments, a valuable tool for advocates and victims alike.

From the website https://www.mosaicmethod.com/
"What is MOSAIC?

MOSAIC is a computer-assisted method for conducting comprehensive assessments - in the same way that diagnosis is a method used by a doctor. An effective medical diagnosis results when a doctor knows which questions to ask, knows which tests will produce the most accurate answers, and then knows how to draw relevant conclusions from all the answers combined together.

Similarly, assessing whether a situation has the combination of factors that are associated with escalated risk and danger requires that you know what questions to ask, and then know how to consider all your answers in a way that enhances insight. The MOSAIC method works by breaking a situation down factor-by-factor, like pieces of a puzzle, and then seeing what picture emerges when you put them together.

MOSAIC helps the assessor weigh the present situation in light of expert opinion and research, and instantly compare the present situation to past cases where the outcomes are known"

New Research Shows Domestic Violence Shelters Meet Survivor's Needs

Domestic Violence Shelters Meet Survivor's Needs


Domestic violence shelters are meeting the needs of abuse survivors and their children, providing services like housing, mental health counseling, and legal assistance. An NIJ-sponsored study [1] found that nearly three-quarters (74 percent) of domestic violence survivors rate the assistance they received at their shelters as "very helpful", and another 18 percent rate it as "helpful."

Benefits of Domestic Violence Shelters
Shelters provide specific, immediate benefits for adults and children who face abuse and homelessness:

Almost all survivors (99 percent) received help securing their own safety, 90 percent received help issuing a protective or restraining order, and 82 percent received help with divorce issues.

Most shelters (82 percent) let survivors stay more than 30 days, and 34 percent allow stays of more than 60 days.

Most shelters offered child protection (79 percent) and welfare (80 percent) services.

Most shelters offered survivors help prosecuting their abusers in civil (82 percent) and criminal (81 percent) court.

Survivors receive a range of services:

Three-quarters (75 percent) of survivors found employment or received job training.

Shelters offered many victim services, including: support groups (97 percent), crisis counseling (96 percent), individual counseling (92 percent), parenting classes (55 percent), counseling for children (54 percent) and child care (50 percent).

Almost all shelters (92 percent) helped victims find schools for their children.

Challenges and Areas for Improvement

Around a third (32 percent) of survivors had conflicts with other residents.

Survivors reported problems finding privacy (16 percent) and problems with time limits on the shelter stay (16 percent), curfews (14 percent), child discipline and monitoring (13 percent).

Read the full report Meeting Survivor's Needs: A Multi-State Study of Domestic Violence Shelters (pdf, 145 pages)

[1] The content on this page comes from the report Meeting Survivor's Needs: A Multi-State Study of Domestic Violence Shelters (pdf, 145 pages) Exit Notice, which reports findings of research conducted by Eleanor Lynn and Shannon Lane of the University of Connecticut's Institute for Violence Prevention and Reduction at the School of Social Work in collaboration with Anne Menard of the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, a project of the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Researchers interviewed 3,410 residents of 215 domestic violence shelters in Connecticut, Florida, Illinois, Michigan, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Washington. They collected data between October 2007 and March 2008.

Thousands Speaking Out Against Terminator's Budget Cuts to Domestic Violence Programs

Budget Cuts Hurt Domestic Violence Victims for 2nd Time - webcastr.com
7 hours ago Nearly 100 domestic violence shelters and centers throughout California are at risk. They've lost a combined 16 million dollars to the Governor's line-item veto power.

SJ: ADVOCATES SPEAK AGAINST GOV.'S CUTS TO STATE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ...CBS 5The Gilroy shelter is one of nearly 100 facilities across the state funded by the Domestic Violence Program, part of the Department of Public Health. ...

Advocates, officials: Governor's cuts to women's shelters threaten ...San Jose Mercury NewsBut the governor eliminated the state's entire domestic violence shelter budget in a line-item veto. At the news conference Wednesday, state Sen. ...

Editorial: Faces behind the numbers : CALCASA Public Policy
5 Aug 2009 by CALCASA Yesterday, the Ventura Country Star posted an editorial about the recent domestic violence program funding cuts. You don't chop a total of $31 billion from the state budget in one year without exacting a lot of pain. California's latest ...

CALIFORNIA FILIPINO-AMERICAN WOMEN EXPRESS OUTRAGE AT GOVERNOR'S ...
10 hours ago by artivista1 For many communities, the budget cut coincides with an increase in reported cases of domestic violence. The stress of job loss, foreclosures, and car repossessions stemming from the current economic crisis can raise tension in ...

Domestic violence shelters, programs take a big hit Modesto BeeSome might ask why the state ever got into the business of funding domestic violence shelter programs. The state made a commitment to victims and survivors ...

Schwarzenegger Line-Item Vetoed Entire Domestic Violence Program California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger last week line-item vetoed the Department of Public Health's Domestic Violence Program, which provides $20.4 ...

Domestic violence shelters, programs take a big hit
Modesto Bee
Nobody can deny these are extraordinary times. The state of California is dealing with an economic situation the likes of which few can ...

Domestic Violence Shelters Struggling After Budget Cuts
KPBS
Above: Executive Director of Carol's House, Laurin Pause, gives a tour of the shelter. Pause says the governor's cuts puts her shelter ...

Senator seeking DV shelter funds
San Mateo Daily Journal -
State funding for domestic violence shelters was completely eliminated last week by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger in a line-item budget veto to divert $16.3 ...

Editorial: Faces behind the numbers
Ventura County Star - ‎Aug 3, 2009‎
You don't chop a total of $31 billion from the state budget in one year without exacting a lot of pain. California's latest budget shortfall of $26.3 ...

Domestic Violence Funding Cuts, Dangerous For Victims Of Abuse
KEYT - ‎Aug 3, 2009‎
Camarillo, CA-- Agencies that provide shelters for domestic violence victims must find new sources of funding. A line-item veto made by Governor ...

California Cuts 100 Percent Funding for Domestic Abuse Programs ...
Women on the Web - ‎Aug 3, 2009‎
While California cuts funding for much-needed programs, New Mexico offers more protection for abuse victims. By The Staff at wowOwow.com So by now, ...

Despite deep cutbacks, domestic violence shelter will stay open
Morgan Hill Times -
The Governor's last-minute decision to cut all funding for the state's domestic violence program means the county's only four shelters will ...

Cut to the wounded
Stockton Record -
Arnold Schwarzenegger, in signing the state budget last week, cut about $20 million in funding that had supported efforts to address domestic violence.

Despite deep cutbacks, domestic violence shelter will stay open
Morgan Hill Times
The Governor's last-minute decision to cut all funding for the state's domestic violence program means the county's only four shelters will ...

Lawyers for lawmakers say Schwarzenegger exceeded constitutional ...
Los Angeles Times -
... such as children's healthcare, state parks, AIDS treatment and prevention, domestic violence programs and services for abused and neglected children. ...

Schwarzenegger Cuts Funding for CA Domestic Violence Shelters
Ms. Magazine - ‎Jul 31, 2009‎
The cuts were directed primarily towards health and human services programs, and will eliminate all state funding for domestic violence shelters, ...

Battered women's shelter could close
The Desert Sun -
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence also had sharp criticism for Schwarzenegger's funding cuts. Coalition executive director Rita Smith said

Authors Prepare To Walk The State Of California To Bring Aid And ...
OfficialWire (press release) - ‎Jul 31, 2009‎
This statistic is based only on reporting agencies (approx 78% of active DV agencies nationwide). Requests for emergency shelter or transitional housing

Budget Essay 13: Women & Children First! oops: no lifeboats....
California Progress Report -
He virtually killed a number of domestic violence shelters around the state, especially in poor, rural areas, by cutting an additional $20.4 million dollars ...

Total loss of state funds imperils domestic violence shelters
San Diego Union Tribune -
California has helped pay for shelters for battered spouses and other domestic violence programs since 1977. What's changed: All funding for ...

While there are a few on the fringes that see this destruction as a good thing:

http://mensnewsdaily.com/glennsacks/2009/07/31/schwarzenegger-terminates-dv-funding/
http://www.womenslegalresource.com/blog/archives/1555

most of us can find strengh and inspiration in the many survivors, advocates, officials and all the other individuals and agencies who band together for a common purpose; the protection and safety of the battered and abused.

California DV Cuts - Here's Hoping

From the San Francisco Examiner
Bill would save domestic violence programs
By: Christine Karavas08/04/09 12:19 PM PDT
Senator Leland Yee announced legislation Tuesday aimed at saving domestic violence programs and shelters statewide that had funding cut by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. The line-item budget veto of the Department of Public Health’s Domestic Violence Program eliminated $16.3 million, that was allocated to 94 domestic violence shelters and centers, according to Yee’s office. The senator’s legislation allocates $16.3 million from the victims’ compensation fund to the Domestic Violence Program.

The Senate is on recess until Aug. 19 and will finish Sep. 11, giving the bill less than a month to win two-thirds of the legislature’s support. If passed and signed, it will go into effect immediately. "It can't afford to wait until January 1," Yee spokesman Adam Keigwin said. "If these shelters close, folk's lives are at risk."

Anonymous Caller? New Service Says, Not Any More

Advocates need to make survivors aware of the potential problems if this is used by their abuser. Prepaid cell phones are the most secure if a caller does not wish to be found. On the other hand, this could be a valuable tool for stalking victims who need to validate harrassment for court purposes.

By Kevin Poulsen February 16, 2009
A new service set for launch Tuesday allows cellphone users to unmask theCaller ID on blocked incoming calls, obtaining the phone number, and insome cases the name and address, of the no-longer-anonymous caller. The service, called <http://www.trapcall.com/> TrapCall, is offered by NewJersey's TelTech systems, the company behind the controversial SpoofCardCaller ID spoofing service. The new service is likely to be even morecontroversial - and popular. "What's really interesting is that they've totally taken the privacy out ofCaller ID," says former hacker Kevin Mitnick, who alpha-tested the service. TrapCall's basic unmasking service is free, and includes the option ofblacklisting unwanted callers by phone number. It also allows you to listento your voicemail over the web. It's currently available to AT&T andT-Mobile subscribers, with support for the other major carriers due withinweeks, says TelTech president Meir Cohen. <http://blog.wired.com/photos/uncategorized/2009/02/13/logobeta.gif>Logobeta"It' s not meant for spies, it's not meant for geeks, it's not meantfor any specific target audience," Cohen says. "Everybody hates gettingblocked calls, and in this day and age they want to know who's calling, andthey want the option of taking the call or not." Consumers have had the option of shielding their number from display sinceCaller ID was introduced in the early 1990s, either by dialing *-6-7 beforeplacing a call, or asking their carrier for blanket anonymity for theirline. But TrapCall takes advantage of a loophole in Caller ID blockingthat's long benefited corporate phone customers: Namely, calls to toll-freenumbers are not blocked, because those calls are paid for by the recipient. TrapCall instructs new customers to reprogram their cellphones to send allrejected, missed and unanswered calls to TrapCall's own toll-free number. Ifthe user sees an incoming call with Caller ID blocked, he just presses thebutton on the phone that would normally send it to voicemail. The callinvisibly loops through TelTech's system, then back to the user's phone,this time with the caller's number displayed as the Caller ID. The caller hears only ringing during this rerouting, which took about sixseconds in Wired.com's test with an iPhone on AT&T. Rejecting the call asecond time, or failing to answer it, sends it to the user's standardvoicemail. <http://blog.wired.com/photos/uncategorized/2009/02/13/step1.gif> Step1Theservice comes as bad news to advocates for domestic violence victims, whofought hard to make free blocking an option in the early days of Caller ID."I have huge concerns about that," says Cindy Southworth, director oftechnology at the National Network to End Domestic Violence, in Washington,D.C. Southworth fears that abusers will use the new service to locatepartners fleeing a violent relationship. In a notable case in 1995, a Texas man named Kevin Roberson shot hisex-girlfriend to death after locating her through the Caller ID device onher roommate's phone line. The problem is serious, because domestic violence victims who've fled anabusive relationship often have to stay in contact with their abuser byphone, particularly in situations where the former couple share custody oftheir children," Southworth says. "The judge will require that the victim contact the offender to discusswhere they're dropping the children off, for example," says Southworth. "Andthere's often court-mandated phone contact between the abusive partner andthe victim." In those cases the victims often rely on Caller ID blocking tokeep their former partner from knowing where they're living. Cohen dismisses that concern, arguing that Caller ID blocking was neversecure to begin with. "It's very simple for somebody to forward a phone toan 800 number in their office, and right there, they're picking up the phonenumber of the person who is calling," he says. At least now the falseillusion of Caller ID privacy will be dispelled by TrapCall, he adds. <http://blog.wired.com/photos/uncategorized/2009/02/13/step3.gif> Step3Inaddition to the free service, branded Fly Trap, a $10-per-month upgradecalled Mouse Trap provides human-created transcripts of voicemail messages,and in some cases uses text messaging to send you the name of the caller -information not normally available to wireless customers. Mouse Trap willalso send you text messages with the numbers of people who call while yourphone was powered off, even if they don't leave a message. With the $25-a-month Bear Trap upgrade, you can also automatically recordyour incoming calls, and get text messages with the billing name and streetaddress of some of your callers, which TelTech says is derived fromcommercial databases. TelTech is no stranger to controversy. Its <http://www.spoofcard.com/>Spoofcard product lets customers send any phone number they want as theirCaller ID. Among other things, the<http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2006/03/70462> spoofingservice has been used by thieves to activate stolen credit cards, by hackersto access celebrities' voicemail boxes, and by telephone hoaxsters to stagea dangerous prank called<http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2009/01/guilty-plea-bli.html> "swatting,"in which they spoof an enemy's phone number while calling the police with afake hostage situation. The goal of swatting - realized in hundreds of casesaround the country - is to send armed cops bursting into the victim's home. Cohen's company has cooperated in law enforcement investigations ofSpoofcard abuse, which have led to several prosecutions and convictions.Despite the spoofing-linked crimes, he insists that most Spoofcard users arejust privacy-conscious consumers, including celebrities, governmentofficials, private investigators and even spousal abuse victims andshelters. He also expects his new business will be good for his old one. "The only way to block your number after this is released is to useSpoofcard," he says with a laugh.

Personal Safety Plan

All individuals seeking help for family violence issues should have a safety plan in place. With the assistance of an advocate, reviewing a plan such as this is very helpful in ensuring a safer response to a potentially volatile situation. Thinking about potential scenarios ahead of time and brainstorming with an experienced advocate helps a victim replace panic with action that could contribute to survival for the victim and her/ his children.

Safety Planning with Battered Women: Complex Lives/Difficult Choices (SAGE Series on Violence against Women)

Safety During An Explosive Incident

• If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area that has access to an exit and not in a bathroom, kitchen, or anywhere near weapons.
• Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, or stairwell would be best.
• Have an extra set of keys and a packed bag ready; keep them in an undisclosed but accessible place in order to leave quickly.
• Identify a neighbor you can tell about the violence and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home.
• Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police.
• Decide and plan for where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you don't think you will need to).
• Use your instincts and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving the abuser what he wants to calm him down. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger.
• Always remember:YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE HIT OR THREATENED!

Safety When Preparing To Leave

• Open a checking and/or savings account in your own name to begin to establish or increase your independence. Rent a post office box to receive any mail which may not be safe to receive at home. Think of other ways in which you can increase your independence.
• Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents and extra clothes with someone you trust so you can leave quickly.
• Determine who would be able to let you stay with them or lend you some money.
• Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave your batterer. REMEMBER, LEAVING IS THE MOST DANGEROUS TIME.

Safety In Your Own Home

• Change the locks on your doors as soon as possible. Buy additional locks and safety devices to secure your windows.
• Discuss a safety plan with your children for when you are not with them.
• Inform your children's school, day care, etc., about who has permission to pick up your children.
• Inform neighbor and landlord that your partner no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see him near your home.

Safety With A Protection Order

• Keep your protection order on you at all times. (When you change your purse, that should be the first thing that goes in it.)
• Call the police if your partner breaks the protection order in any way.
• Think of alternative ways to keep safe if the police do not respond right way.
• Inform family, friends, neighbors, and teachers, that you have a protection order in effect. Tell them any relevant details of the order (who has custody, when and where does visitation take place, etc.).

Safety On The Job And In Public

• Decide who at work you will inform of your situation. This should include office or building security (provide a picture of your batterer if possible).
• Arrange to have someone screen your telephone calls if possible.
• Devise a safety plan for when you leave work. Have someone escort you to your car. Use a variety of routes to go home by if possible. Know where your police station is and drive to it if necessary.

Your Safety And Emotional Health

• If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss an alternative plan with someone you trust.
• If you have to communicate with your partner, determine the safest way to do so.
• Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs.
• Read books, articles, and poems to help you feel stronger. Keep a journal.
• Decide who you can call to talk freely and openly to give you the support you need.
• Plan to attend support groups to gain support from others and learn more about yourself and the relationship.

Checklist - What You Need To Take When You Leave

• Identification
• Driver's license and registration
• Children's birth certificates
• Your birth certificate
• Money
• Lease, rental agreement, deed
• Bank books
• Checkbooks
• Credit cards
• Insurance papers
• Keys - house/car/office
• Medications
• Medical Records
• Social security card
• Welfare identification
• School records
• Divorce papers
• Address book
• Small saleable objects
• Jewelry
• Pictures
• Children's small toys
• Work permits
• Green card
• Passport
• Personal treasures
• Other

Carrying Pepper Spray in Michigan

Personal defense sprays can be an effective deterrent if the owner is under attack and has been educated in their use. I am often asked by both victims and advocates what is allowed for their personal safety. Michigan law does not allow the use of actual pepper spray but does allow canisters of the tear gas known as CS. The canisters cannot contain more than 35 grams per can, no stronger than 2% concentrate of the active ingredient Oleoresin Capsicum (OC) . No combinations.
The 2% concentration mainly indicates how long the spray's effects last.

No one under 18 is permitted to buy any type of defense spray. People who are of age in MI may purchase canisters of the approved tear gas and carry them in public, but they must only be used to defend the owner or others against an attack. Circumstances in which the use of tear gas would be lawful include fending off an assailant, protecting personal property from a thief and warding off a wild animal.

Always test your spray outside with the wind to your back. It is advisable not to leave your canister in extreme environment such as a hot car or in the vehicle during the winter. Read the directions that come with your spray to ensure proper and safe use.

Assesssing Lethality

It is impossible to predict what any given individual is capable of but the the following factors can signal the need for extra precautions. The more of these factors present in a situation, the greater the danger:

• The couple has recently separated. Separation may cause the abuse to escalate as the abuser attempts to maintain control in the relationship.
• The abused partner (who knows the abuser better than anyone) believes the threats may be lethal.
• The abuser threatens to kill an intimate partner or other persons.
• The abuser threatens or attempts suicide.
• The abuser fantasizes about homicide or suicide.
• Weapons are accessible, and/or the abuser has a history of using weapons.
• The abuse involves strangling, choking or biting the partner.
• The abuser has easy access to the intimate partner or to the intimate partner’s family.
• The couple has a history of prior calls to the police.
• The abuser exhibits stalking behavior.
• The abuser is jealous and possessive or imagines the intimate partner is having affairs
• The abuser is preoccupied or obsessed with the intimate partner
• The abuser is isolated from others and the intimate partner is central in the abuser’s life.
• The abuser is assaultive during sex.
• The abuser makes threats to the intimate partner’s children.
• The abuser threatens or has a history of hostage taking or keeping someone against their will.
• The severity or frequency of violence has escalated.
• The abuser is depressed or paranoid.
• The abuser or partner has a psychiatric diagnosis.
• The abuser has experienced recent deaths or losses.
• The abuser was beaten or witnessed violence as a child.
• The abuser has killed or harmed a pet or threatened to do so.
• The abuser has started taking more risks.
• The abuser has a history of assaultive behavior towards others.
• The abuser had a history of defying court orders or the judicial system.
• The intimate partner has begun a new relationship with someone else.
• The abuser has drug or alcohol problems.
• The intimate partner is pregnant

How to Talk to Victims of Domestic Violence

Excuses used NOT to get involved : you should not get involved in a private family matter or the violence can’t really be that bad, she must be doing something to provoke the violence, I know him and really don’t think he could hurt anyone.

Domestic violence is not a family matter. It is a crime with serious repercussions for your friends, children, and the entire community. It results in more injuries that require medical attention than rape, auto accidents and muggings combined. A victim of abuse is never to blame for another person’s choice to use violence against her.

Finally many abusers are not violent in other relationships and can even be charming in social situations indicating they are not out of control but channel their behavior where they feel they can get away with it. At home, behind closed doors.

What can you do?

• Listen to them, believe them.
• Assure them that it is not their fault.
• Do not pass judgment on them or the person that hurt them.
• Tell them about support services that are available.
• Ask if they are safe right now.
• If they are in immediate danger call 911

Information About Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is a pattern of physical, sexual, emotional and/or financial abuse perpetrated with the intent and result of establishing and maintaining control over an intimate partner. The abuser’s pattern may include both criminal and non-criminal acts.

Criminal behaviors may include: hitting, choking, kicking, assaulting with a weapon, shoving, scratching, biting, raping, kidnapping, threatening to kill, stalking,arson or destroying personal property and attacking pets.

Non-criminal behaviors may include: making degrading comments, accusations of cheating or lying, interrogating children or other family members, threatening to commit suicide, controlling access to money and monitoring the victim’s time and activities, distancing from family and friends. The abuse may be directed at persons other than the victim (e.g., children, parents) for the purpose of controlling the victim.

The cycle can happen hundreds of times in an abusive relationship.

Each stage lasts a different amount of time, with the total cycle taking

from a few hours to a year or more to complete.